lookout! emo shark!

oh poor emo shark, you were only twelve! you had so much to live for! it didn't have to end this way.

my favorite line in the article is " It is unclear why the shark jumped out of its tank. "

i should fly down to the bahamas and tout myself as a shark psychologist. "well really, it could have been any number of things that could have prompted this apparent suicide. possible long term depression and suicidal thoughts due to being shunned by the hot new shark in the tank, or perhaps she was being ridiculed by the other female sharks for the way she hoarded all the chum at dinnertime. or perhaps the shark just spent her life watching the humans enjoying themselves and thought the slide looked like a fun time unaware of the chlorinated pool of death awaiting her at the bottom. since no note was found we will never know".


thanks to my favorite guilty pleasure for alerting me to this tidbit.


all that said, i totally want to go to the atlantis resort now and shoot through the shark tube.awesome! (that is if i can manage my paralyzing fear of heights to make it to the top of the slide).

conversely:
seriously though, could you imagine being the person in the waterslide and you look behind you and see a fucking shark coming down?!?!?!?!

monica's a lucky woman

sheeeeeeiiitttt, i'd marry chandler.

so guys really DO think with the other head afterall

my personal extensive research has been rendered inconclusive but apparently scientists have linked semen quality to intelligence.


somehow i doubt the scientists made the testees (hardy har har) go through the same rigorous trials as the average single female would to get these findings.